Broken Dream
by kvvva
Summary: Short story, more like thoughts and felling tried to convey to readers. JinxHiroya rated T because for pairing


After watching Gakuen Heaven, one of side stories got my heart so much I almost cried (that isn't something very easily to get to). Matsuoka Jin and Yoshizumi Hiroya. I believe that I wasn't the only one, who took they story to heart and somehow unintentionally fell in love with it. Maybe that's why I had the urge to tell my interpretation of them.

So we all know that Gakuem Heaven is not my and I had never said otherwise nor had intentions of saying so.

Please notice that this work is based on emotions so time flow isn't so important. Time passes while thinning. Things happen, but as I don't what to retell the story, you know I hope you will get the emotions based on relationship between those two.

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I will run to you  
When my journey is over  
Wait for me  
Keep our love alive  
I will dream of you  
'till I reach the sun  
Then I'll turn around and run to you

/The Rasmus -Run to you/

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[Jin]

-_Love. Why do we even need it? Why we try so hard to get to it? So desperately. Why does we do all we can for the one we love? Why does love even exists? As it brings only suffering and pain, and in the end we are left with thousands of shreds of that what used to be our heart. _

_Spring has come once again and all in the nature, flowers, trees and grass is growing rapidly, like it's trying to catch up with time lost sleeping in winter months. New life. All of my surroundings are so full of it, then why I'm the only one who's feeling so lost and abandoned? Do I even have the right to feel so?-_

BL schools doctor was standing in front of window in infirmary looking outside seeing nothing with blank eyes.

_-Did you know Hiroya that it's spring again? No, how could you know. You're just sleeping there nonmoving. Do you even know how mush I want to see your smile when you're looking at trees waking up from winter slumber.-_

_-Why can't I start all form new?-_

His thought were disturbed by someone who slide open door of infirmary. Man disguising himself as Endo Kazuki was standing there looking so tired and exhausted like he would collapse. He came in and sat down on one of the beds of infirmary. Man he was trying to crush was now sitting in front of him. He was supposed to hate this man, but it was only partly his feeling. One half of him truly despised all of them including this one, but other par was somehow a bit bond to this persons. Maybe the concerns for him came only for that part of doctor, because only part of doctor would be so kind to get tea, he was always keeping in his office and offer cup to one sitting on bed.

"You seem tired." He said giving him cup of tea.

"Thanks." Kazuki answered taking offered tea. "Believe me I'm." he said taking a sip of tea. Doctor sat in his usual place in front of his desk.

"Running for one place to another. Being the chairman and student at the same time is truly more tiring then I could even imagine. Jin-san, can I sleep her for five minutes?" he pleaded looking like he could collapse.

_"Sure" answered spoken one and took cup form man he despised and tried to crush._

_-Am I weak? It seems so. How otherwise I could explain that somehow I'm truly concerned about him? Maybe because he's so attached to me? And I know he's not bad persons? Maybe. - _He looked at the one now sleeping soundly, like nothing can happen to him, like he was safe here. He even didn't know that here he could be in more danger that other places. But doctor wasn't of those who would do something stupid. He needed information. Information and nothing more, because only information had the power to crush Suzubishi Group and that was his aim being here.

Sleeping Hiroyas face again floated on the surface of his mind. In the beginning he was trying desperately to save his friend. But it was all to waste thanks only to Suzubicshi Group, who tried to hide they mistakes. Slowly pain overgrew in hatred and his hatred was feeding form his pain. So he thought that he will get revenge. Not only for sake of Hiroya, but for himself too. _–That at least will put my heart at ease. I will be doing something for him.- _Time didn't had meaning now. His mind was floating, like nothing mattered anymore. The gasping pain never let go of him. All the time the terrible feeling of guilt tormented him. _-Why, why the hell I didn't listen to you that time? You told me not to go, not to leave you, but I… I was so selfish, I'm sorry Hiroya. Maybe if I would be there with you none of this would happen, or maybe you would be alright, you would see this spring. Hiroya, you loved spring right? With all the birds songs and sound of the bursting buds, the spring with lightly green leaves on trees. Light springs breeze and sun. Hiroya, did you knew that you were my sun? I felt like plant who batted in sun when I saw your smile. But I was greedy your smile wasn't enough for me, that's why I had to go away. God, if I even knew in what condition I will find you when I will comeback, I would never leave you. I would lock you up somewhere, just to ensure your safety. But you would hate me if I would do that right? And you wouldn't let me take that virus in your place too. I'm sorry Hiroya. I hurried back to tell you that, but not only that, at least I had gathered all my courage to say you I love you. Of course I was afraid of losing you, but I never imagined that it will go like that. I never thought that I won't have the opportunity to say that to you.-_

_-Hiroya. I'm sorry. I forgot myself my true self in that revenge. You wouldn't what ti right? No. You're that kind of person who would never what to go something like that or that someone would do it for your sake. And moreover if that is done in you're name, but done more for that one. I'm sorry Hiroya. _

_How I'd wish you would see the sky. It's beautiful. And I feel like I'm new again, I know I will never meat those persons again, and I wouldn't be able to look them in eyes too, but now, I'm somehow truly calm. Hiroya, now I am with you. Forever. The sky is beautiful.-_

[Hiroya]

_-Ah you came. I would smile if I could. No I am smiling, it's just you can't see it. Jin did you knew that I'm selfish? Do you know that that's the reason why we had that quarrel that time? I just didn't want to let you go. I wanted to keep you all to myself. But I knew how important that trip was for you, and I'm sorry I was so careless. You were away and I suddenly felt so lost and all alone. That ampoule unintentionally slipped through my fingers. I even didn't saw how I got cut by it, and as I tried to pick up the shreds I got a deeper cut. I'm sorry Jin, I mad you worry. But do you know? It somehow made me happy, that you care about me. That time I thought what will I do if you will suddenly leave me, if you will say that you don't need me anymore. I would be lost. Even if I can't move a muscle and can't open my eyes, the thought that you were with me, Jin, that give me courage._

_Jin did you knew why I said I love your hair and I wish you grew the long? Because I could catch you only seize them. You were always slipping thought my fingers. I hoped that the day will come when I will be able to keep the long enough to catch you. I loved when beautiful spring breeze blew them into my face. I could smell the sun in them. I was greedy, I wanted to seize you, but you felt so distant, I was afraid, but Jin, I'm not afraid anymore. So just wait for me a bit ok?_

_Jin did you knew that I can hear you? I would know your footsteps out of million others. I can hear you're cleared that others. I love to hear you voice, and it hurts, when you come and don't talk at all. You bring something all the time for me, but what is it, Jin? I don't know, you said once that it resembles you of time when I said something important to you. You said that closing you eyes you still can see me smile there, but Jin, I don't remember at all. But stay with me like you are now. Don't talk about revenge, I don't need it, I need you by my side, please, Jin._

_I wish I could see you once again._

_Oh something has changed. I can feel myself again, the layer I was under isn't so heavy anymore, I think, I can try. You know if you will be the first thing I will see opening eyes. I will be happy.-_

_-Jin. Can you feel how happy I am? You look so beautiful looking outside the window, a bit sad, Jin, don't be sad, as I am so happy to see you again.-_

Slight twitch of fingers and they eyes meet.

_"You grew you hair out." –Jin. Jin, I'm happy now, I finally caught you -_

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Not big, but hope you liked it.

So if you would be so kind and tell me your thought about this_,_ I'll be waiting for rewievs._  
_


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